So, as promised, I am gonna give you guys an update.
I haven't been very active lately, but I still log on to see what's new.
I'm sorry, guys. TT^TT
In case you guys still don't know, I've gotten a tablet a long while ago, and decided to make a second account for my digital works.
I've tried to practice some digital stuff, but I become easily tired and annoyed with it.
So I'm still looking for my technique and style.
I'm not much for digital art. I've always been very proud of my traditional works.
But now, for some reason, it feel like I can't do either.
Nothing I do seems to make me happy.
So now I'm stuck in a gloom.
The web-comic that Cody and I have been trying to get started has been put on hold because, I just can't get into the groove of things.
As weird as this sounds, it just feels like I've forgotten how to draw.
I know that's just silly, it's like riding a bike, right?
But I thought, best way to get back into things is to try to reteach myself? If that makes any sense. I just gotta start on small projects.
I try to tackle so many things at once, and big projects. But then I get intimidating and easily give up.
I guess it's also because I've turned into a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my works.
And I don't like the idea of being judged poorly for my work.
Somewhere along the line, I've just stopped having fun with it.
I've been very lazy and unmotivated. When I do finally have the inspiration to do something, I just don't have the energy for it.
I usually just sit at home, alone, playing games or browsing my usual sites. When I become bored, I usually tend to have naps. (Haven't been sleeping properly.)
The days seem to melt together, and it feels like I'm going nowhere in life.
Stuck in the same cycle and listening to the same music. BLEH.
Even tried listening to old music that I used to listen to, and that just made it worse. :C
Not too many happy memories...
Lately, I've been very emotional for some reason. I find things more amusing, or some things tend to make me tear up very easily.
I don't know why, but it's starting to bug me.
Uuuhm... Oh! My wrist has gotten better? But not 100%, sadly. Doing the same thing at work over and over has done something to bugger up my wrist. So if I over-work it, or even twist it the wrong way, it starts to throb. Don't worry, gonna see the doctor tomorrow. But at least it's not in extreme pain like it was before. Geh, but it still feels like every muscle in my body is breaking down.
I'm so broken. TT^TT
Food can usually cheer me up, but nothing seems to be working lately, which is weird. D:
Saving money is getting harder and harder, especially with Christmas coming. Trying to get shopping done sooner instead of last minute.
Speaking of Christmas, it's already the 3rd, and we have NO DECORATIONS UP YET!!
Not even the tree! This saddens me. I'm worried that no one is gonna want to put up decorations this year, or it'll be put off till the last second.
Like Halloween, I had to put up the decorations on Halloween day, and for what. We only had 5 trick-or-treaters come by.
So yeah, that was fun...
I'm sorry that I've been so gloomy lately. It just feels like I've been a complete downer lately.
Part of why I can't really be social with others.
Going through some random moods swings, and it's annoying!
Hm, what else is new...
Oh! I used to like being part of the darkness and demon clan in my story, but for some reason, I've been liking angels and fairies lately! D8
Like, cute, angelic, or flowery things. WHY?! Does it have something to do with my mood???
Oh yeah, recently a friend of mine informed me that someone had traced one of my works without my permission. It was just some fan-art that I had done, but still, it kinda annoyed me. They had asked for permission via note, but did not wait for me to respond before posting it.
I talked about it later with them, but later their account had been shut down. ono;
Also!! Getting back to my art, I do have a lot of things I'd still like to do for my friends, and still A LOT of personal projects.
I'd hate to just give up or keep pushing them to the side forever.
I really do want to keep working at this, and staying active on my account(s)!!
And I miss talking to you guys. ;n; I'm so so sooo sorry for being such a butt-face!!
If you guys want to pester me, please do!!!
You can just send me a note, reach me on my other account, or even on twitter!!
(Note me if you don't have me on twitter yet. XD)
And, uhm, oh yeah!! Today (Dec 3rd) is Tori's birthday!! 83 He's one of my close OC's, but I feel I should draw something for him as well.
(I'm sorry, Will, that I have not drawn anything for you yet!! >n<;;;;; )
So, uh... Work is still the same. I find that I have NO patience for customers whatsoever. And for some reason, I get so angry over the smallest things, and I don't know how to deal with it. I either get so frustrated that I break into tears, or I punch or kick something... ono; Which I don't normally do!!
Also, punching or kicking things does NOT make me feel better... last time a punched a wall and skinned my knuckles. I felt completely stupid after that.
And on a side note, I can act really bitchy or ignore my other co-workers. Especially towards the new ones who barely know me.
I find it surprising that most still act nice towards me. o___o; They know I can get into some really bad moods, but it still makes me happy that they understand why and work around it. I don't deserve their kindness!!! QAQ
The one co-worker I was grumping at turned to me and asked why I was being so gloomy. I explained that I just can't handle people most of the time.
But then she said, "Cheer up, butter-cup! It'll be okay."
I admit, small things can easily set me off. But some small things can easily bring a smile to my face. </3
Gah, I'm randomly rambling, I'm sorry! Uhm, I can't really think of any other new things going on so far...
Thank you for always staying by my side, and always cheering me on!!
You guys have always kept me going strong. <3
I'm sorry that I haven't been very supportive in return.
But please remember that I still love and care for you!! >//^//<
If you ever need me, you know where to find me!!
//scurries back into the shadows